I may or may not be back to blogging.

Some of my friends have described me as being shy when I first meet someone.  I don't talk to you just because you're sitting next to me, but if you approach me first I'm basically an open book.  With that being said, I typically don't talk about my faith voluntarily.  However, if someone asks me... I tell them about my God.  Last night, I saw this quote whilst  studying   procrastinating   on Pinterest and couldn't help but make my own image and share with you what it means to me. 

This hits so hard, not only as a Christian, but also as a future nurse.  As a student, you're normally blinded when you enter the clinical setting for the first time.  What you have studied and forced yourself to do step by step isn't what you actually see be done by every nurse, every time. Here in my happy, little invincible bubble, I get a little heart broken when I see not so happy things happen. I haven't lived a sheltered life at ALL. Trust me. I wasn't the teenager you wanted your kids to be around, remember ? Since, I've "grown up" I've tried to find the good in everyone and  believe that everyones tries to lives by the golden rule.  Well, my bubble was finally busted after a year of nursing school. 

I've witnessed a few things that I don't want to be necessarily associated with in the clinical setting already. As nurses, it's not our place to judge. It's our place to care for, comfort, and teach that patient. Just as it is our place as Christians to care for one another, comfort, and spread the good word. I'm not perfect by any means. Your strength is probably my struggle. It's easy to want to focus on and point out other's mistakes when we're struggling ourselves. Even if you appear to have a picture perfect life, everyone has a struggle... regardless if it's noticeable or not. It's important to remember we're people from all walks of life, and we haven't all been dealt the same hand or blessed with the same opportunities. 

We shouldn't care why or how a patient could do something destructive to themselves, just as we shouldn't judge someone for their preferences or decisions they may make. But, we can pray that they know what forgiveness is, that God will influence their mind and hearts, and that your compassion will speak volumes.  We can find out why our "frequent flyer" patient is not complying with their medication regimen with the intent to help.  We can teach them prevention, offer advice on useful tips and techniques, or simply provide resources that can better be useful for that particular patient. We can't assume every patient knows the pathophysiology, clinical manifestations, or complications that can occur with their disease.  Just because we have a medical education doesn't mean they do too.  Just as we can't assume every person knows right from wrong, or believes that there is a heaven or hell.  But we can share our testimonies, answer their questions or find someone who can, and just offer ourselves.

As important as we think we are, when it is all said and done, our opinions don't matter. But God's does. We're lucky that he loves us enough to give us a choice. Only God can decide who makes it into his kingdom, our only service is to witness to and love them as Jesus loves us. 

The struggles I've been faced with lately could knock me down and easily turn out for the worst.  But as each day goes by, I'm learning better ways to deal with them.  I think this was one of them.  I guess you can say I'm back to blogging now. 

P.S. thank you Aubrey for the font freebies 

Tybee Sunset

I bet you didn't know my favorite thing in the entire world is watching the sunrise/sunset on a body of water?  Alright, you probably did.  My life has been absolutely cray-cray lately.  But by the overflow of seriousness or lack of posts lately, you probably knew that, too.  It's just one thing after another! I know God is eventually going to throw me a break, I know one day I'll be able to breathe again.  all will be good in the hood for me if you will.

On any given day, I usually don't like to be alone.  I run from my problems and when I'm alone I think.  Thinking means facing your problems and I just don't do that too well.  If you haven't noticed, sarcasm is my defense mechanism.  Ya know...laughing?  Yeah, I'm pretty good at that. It's my thing. If you ain't laughing, you ain't living. And ain't nobody got time for dat.

On this particular day, I couldn't laugh though.  I had a million things going through my head, a to-do list a mile long, time was running out and no matter what I did, I couldn't breathe.  All of the time in the world wouldn't be enough for me to do what needed to be done.  I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I surely didn't want to think about or discus any options (and don't call me Shirley). I just wanted time to stand still for one second so I could breathe. I needed the beach.  I needed to stick my toes in the water, sit my butt in that hot sand, and face the simple fact that I'm alone.

I really just planned on sitting there until I could courage up enough strength to get back up and face my reality.  My intent was to miraculously learn how to turn that emotional switch of mine back on and turn off my ability to not give a crap anymore when I've had enough.  However, someone had other plans for me.  I remembered I had my camera and the sun was starting to lower.  Perfection.  I ate pizza and had a brewsky, I switched up some lenses, and I played around with sunset/twilight settings for a bit as the sun came down over the sand dunes.  I made sure I soaked up the beauty of that sunset without only looking through the lens though.

I didn't leave there with all my of life problems solved.  My to-do list was a mile longer than it was before, I discovered a cavity, and I had the dirtiest feet to accompany the sand in my eyes.  But, I could breathe again.  For two hours, I could take enough deep breaths to get me to the next day.  Tomorrow is always a new day.  For two hours, I was able to put my problems on the back burner and focus my attention on my relationship with God and my purpose in this life he gave me.  It's hard, and at times I just want to scream, to pout, and have a full on Walmart toddler tantrum.  But I know that although this may feel like the end of the world for me, it's not.  I may not be the most religious person to ever walk this earth, and I'll be the first to admit I don't always act as a Christian should...but, I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is a God that loves me and there's nothing he won't throw at me that I can't handle.  

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My mother did a remarkable job at raising a strong, independent, and level headed woman.  I may have gave her a hard time and tested every area I could manage growing up.  But my Momma taught me to fight for what I want, fight for what I believe in, fight for what is right.  and I'll be danged if I'm going let her down now.  

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I will overcome this, it's that simple.  

Friday's Letters

Linking up for Friday's Letters 

Dear Weekend, I'm so glad you are here. Let's recover from this nursing school week of HELL.

Dear Louisiana, my heart is with you today and always. My heart is always home. My heart is always with my family.  

Dear cheap cather kit, you're ridiculous, yet sterile. I promise to treat you better next check off. I promise to make sure you are in tip toppy shape before I got waltzing in there like a boss. Because the next check off, I will dominate. You have been warned. Dear Library, you and me need to spend more time together, obviously.  Dear Army, thanks for allowing 4 days and for bringing Kayla's husband home for R&R. Dear Liz, you're not allowed to buy full size doritos anymore and allow me to take them home.  They're being eaten. Right. Now. Never. Again.

Dear Husband, thank you. Thank you for spending Valentine's Day with me on the couch, eating pizza, downing drinking wine, and watching a scary movie. There is no other way I'd want to spend it.

Dear Jesus, thank you for loving me. Thank you for getting me through this week. Please watch over my family and wrap your loving arms around them right now. Kiss Chloe Lane for me. 

Dear followers, thanks for following. Have a good weekend!

xoxo,