Friday, October 4, 2013

Be you.

So, I did in fact fall off the side of the earth.  And in my opinion, for perfectly good reasons.  I not only quit blogging, I quit doing a lot of things I used to do.  Every day I'm discovering more and more about myself that I never thought would be imaginable.  I'm feeling a little Carrie Bradshaw these days.


I thought I loved this, I thought I loved that.  This once made me happy but now it just makes me want to barf. I put myself out there just to be shut down. I don't give myself enough credit half the time, I'm a lot stronger than I think apparently because I know God would never give me something I couldn't handle. I came to the realization that I've lived my entire life making someone else happy. Am I being selfish? Perhaps. But you only have one life, and I'm most certainly going to make mine count. I've got dreams, I've got flaws, and I've got a whole mess of crap to talk about. trust me when I say, this bird you can not change

This post is semi pointless and I'm just rambling, I know. But these days, I'm just trying to survive nursing school with my head ABOVE water on top of everything else going on.  I go to school, I go to clinicals, I study, I work, and I sleep.  That's about it.  I've become a hermit, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.  I am pretty much bad at every life/social role there is imaginable. When things get hard, I shut down and depend on time to heal it all.  But, I'm a good student. and that's about all I've got going for me.  I may let a lot of relationships fall off the side of the earth, but I pray I never lose the ability to strive to learn. I pray I never stop wanting to push myself as far as I can go.  I want nothing more than to finish nursing school, begin my career, and go back to school for more.

I'm so thankful nursing school brought me some of the best friends that understand me to the core and push me when I need it and talk me down when I don't.  We spend just about every moment of every day together.  We break down, we piss each other off, we lift each other up. and that's when you really get to know someone. 

 Sometimes you fall off the wagon, but we do what we have to do to get each other through.
That's what life is all about, and that's when you really get to know yourself.

Today's the best day to do some random rambling post and attempt to not neglect blogging because it's 

and I may not necessarily be backing it up like most of you,
but I am listening to the song that connects me and my Daddy at the soul.

Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd on Grooveshark

The past few months have been unimaginable, but I listen to this song and all is right in the world. I miss my family more than words, but all I have to do is look down at my wrist, see my Daddy's handwriting, and I'm reminded of who I am.

sassy, classy, white trashy, and smart assey.


Fran @ Sassy Southern Bride said...

I LOVE your new shoulder length hair. Being an adult student is one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I know it will be so worth it. We are almost at midterms, hang in there!

Maggie said...

So tonight as I was sitting and relaxing in my bath (which I am in as I type this) I thought. Gee, I miss Ashley, I am going to check her blog to see what's going on. Low and behold, your words must have been calling me.
It is so badass that you are staying strong and kicking schools ass even though life is getting you down. Even in the short amount of time I have known you, I have learned that you are one tough cookie and you won't take shit from anyone. I'm proud of you girl. Keep kicking ass :) xoxo

Amanda aka Manda said...

I live this post! You are a badass! I need to have your attitude/outlook more often! Hang in there & continue to kick ass on school!!

zara may said...

I love your blog

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