Friday, June 14, 2013

Sinners like me

I want to dedicate this #backthatazzupFriday to the greatest man I could ever imagine God picking as my father.

Let's just get straight to the point, everyone loves my Daddy.  He knows no stranger and you can guarantee he is best friends with all of my best friends.  I drink with my Daddy, I smoke with my Daddy, and I raise hell with my Daddy.  Although I love my husband dearly, my Daddy will always be  number one in my heart for making me the person I am today.

Growing up, I didn't always get to see my Daddy as often as we both would like. You see back in the day, my Daddy served this great country of ours. He also had a few too many wives to deal with, but that's besides the point.  He got stationed at Nellis Air Force base in Las Vegas, Nevada before I entered middle school. And that's when Ashley the train wreck nearly started.

Sneaking out and running my Mom's car into the garage door, fighting on the school bus after school, sneaking out to smoke and drink with my friends all night, not getting to play varsity softball because I skipped school and failed due to absences, skipping school and racing my truck down the dirt road and fish tailing into a fence. You know it, I did it. Was I a bad kid? Yes. Was I a bad kid because my Daddy wasn't around to give me the azz whooping of a lifetime that I deserved? Maybe. Was I a bad kid because it's in my genes? Without a freaking doubt.  My Momma, she's an angel, and I thank my lucky stars she never killed me for all of the ridiculous, wreck less, and down right stupid things I did as a kid and teenager. She did the best she could, but I was out of control.

My Daddy moved back from Las Vegas my last two years of high school after he retired, but I still continued to raise hell. That is until the day I walked down to the hallway to the principals office and I saw my Daddy's orange Harley Davidson jacket sleeve from the door way. My heart stopped. What in the world was I to do? My Momma did a good job at hiding a lot of the stupid things I did from my Dad. But, this was it. I was on the verge of not making it to my senior year if I didn't straighten up.

There's a few things in life that can occur that will result in me feeling like I'm just scum on the ground.  Disappointing my Father is one of those things. I guess I never thought about what would happen if he found out about all of the stupid things I had done. I would rather take a million whippings, be grounded for the rest of my life, whatever it may be. I'd take it all, I just can't stand the feeling knowing how disappointed he is in me. And he knows that's all he has to say. I'm not mad at you Ash, I'm just disappointed.  Boy, did it cut like a knife.

For the next two years,  my Daddy and I got closer than ever before. It wasn't about punishing me anymore, it was about bonding. It was about instilling the values in me that make me a person in society, it was about helping me grow into a responsible adult, and it was about reminding me the lessons he taught me as a child when I first lied to him.

The grass is green, the sky is blue, and life's too short. 
So do the right thing 'cause it's the right thing to do.  

My Daddy never got to have a son, but between me and my sister I'm pretty sure we gave him the experience he would have had if we were boys.  At my sister's wedding, she picked the most spot on song to dance with Daddy to.  It wasn't your traditional "make everyone cry" song.  It was a song that speaks truth. Pure truth. 

Recently, Dad and I took a road trip up to Virginia together and we played this song on repeat for a good thirty minutes. So, for #backthatazzupFriday it must be played again and dedicated to my Daddy on Father's Day.

I'll never get tired of you telling me your stories or asking you for advice, and I'm thankful you never let me down despite the hell I raised.  I love you to the moon and back! Happy Father's Day, Daddy!


Anonymous said...

LOVE THIS POST and this song. I love Eric Church.

Chels said...

This post is just the sweetest. I absolutely love that song. I bet your Daddy cries when he reads is too sweet not to!

Have a great weekend!

Lifes Better Being Southern said...

First of all, I love your story. I love that you are a southern hard ass turned southern hard ass with class and second this is my hands down favorite song of all time. I'm probably Eric Church's #1 fan, I have seen him in concert 5 times, but this song reminds me of my Paw Paw who is my #1 man and he is not with us anymore so sometimes when I start to miss him, I just listen to this song! Hope you and your dad have a great Fathers day!

Vern Powers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vern Powers said...

Thank you Ash. I am proud to be your Dad. We all go through those phases growing up, but I taught you that you learn from your mistakes. Yes, I did shed an emotional tear or two, but it made me feel good and smile. I love you Ash and really loved all our "road trips" as we bonded more and got a lot off our minds and got things out in the open and off our chests. I am proud of you and love you ;-)

Vern Powers said...

And yes Chels, I did cry. My Dad ( RIP) taught me at an Early age, that yes, Real Men Do Cry, and never be Ashamed or Afraid to Cry. It builds character. Lol

Patty said...

What a beautiful post...that's such a blessing that you and your Dad were able to grow closer and have a better relationship:)

Cayla said...

This was so heartfelt! And I love, love, love me that Church song. Perfect pick :)

Chels said...

Amen to that, Vern! Real men do cry! If you can't show emotion, then you are not human. I hope you had a great father's day!

Autumn @ The Unreal Life said...

Gah. Adorable. I now have that song stuck on repeat in my head. So beautiful. Love the whole story, thank you for sharing!

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